Defuse The Slow Burn

There's one in nearly every work group, that certain someone whose words and/or demeanor gets you all FIRED UP, or puts you into a SLOW BURN everytime you have to interact with them.

Perhaps their opinions and values are worlds apart from yours. Maybe they're openly hostile to you or your personalities clash. Yet whatever the reason for the conflict, you CAN'T AVOID or IGNORE THEM them because your job requires you to interact with them.

So what's savvy leader to do? The high road to personal success requires you to take control of the one thing you do control - YOURSELF! While the temptation to fire off a snarky retort is alluring, it isn't a politically astute move on your part.

Manage Your Attitude
Think first, don't immediately react when provoked. Move away from your sense of rightness to avoid a confrontation which serve no one well. This is the time for calm self-control. Give yourself time to think.

Understand & Master Your Own Intentions
Are you operating from 'I WIN, YOU LOSE' position or from a 'WIN - WIN' standpoint? Astute business people operate from the perspective of seeking win-win outcomes. Always seek to understand the motivation of the other party, e.g. is their intention that you lose so they can win. Understanding why this people annoy you helps you manage your reaction.

Control Your Communication Style & Message
Keep in mind it's not just what you say that matters. It's also how you say it, how you act and your body language. Advising a colleague in a sharp tone of voice that there's a problem you want to discuss and doing so with arms tightly folded across your chest, sets off his or her internal alarms and doesn't set a good foundation for the two of you to productively resolve the issue.

Learning to master you own attitude, intentions and communication style forms the bedrock for knowing how to effectively manage conflict!

Sumber : LeadBIG by Jane Perdue